Guide
The Velvet Rope
Noob City’s casino sits in the Red Light District. You play with the cash you made in the game, and the odds for every game are published, down to the decimal.
Sign-ups are open.
Game cash only
Nothing in the casino costs or pays real money. You bet the cash you made on the street, and what you win stays in the game. It has no cash value, and it can’t be sold or traded for real money. You have to be 18 or older to play My Criminal Life at all.
The rooms
Dutch runs the floor for the owner, Mr. Sable, and greets you by your rank. There are three rooms. They run the same games with the same pay tables; the only difference is how much you can bet.
Everyone starts on the Floor, from level 3. The Back Room and the Office open as your rank climbs.
| Room | Who gets in | Bets |
|---|---|---|
| The Floor | Level 3 and up | $10 up to $50 per level, at most $500 |
| The Back Room | Rank Runner and up | $100 to $5,000 |
| The Office | Rank Hustler and up | $500 to $20,000 |
The games
The new floor is open with The Wheel and Wiseguys or Better. A few classic tables from the old casino still run beside them, and more new games are on the way. This list follows the casino itself, so it changes the day a game opens.
| Game | What it is | Return | Status |
|---|---|---|---|
| The Wheel | American wheel, 0 and 00. Up to 20 bets a spin. | 94.74% | Open |
| Wiseguys or Better | Video poker, 9/6 Jacks or Better. Hold, draw, get paid. | 98.37% | Open |
| Blackjack | Dealer stands on 17. Blackjack pays 3:2. No splits. | On the Odds tab | Open: classic |
| Dutch's Table | Six decks, dealer hits soft 17, blackjack pays 3:2. | — | Coming |
| Slots | 7's & Stripes: cheap spins. | On the Odds tab | Open: classic |
| Hot Merchandise | Three reels of stolen goods. | — | Coming |
| The Corner Machine | Small bets, quick pulls. | — | Coming |
| The Getaway | Ride the run. Bail before the roadblock. | — | Coming |
| Horse Racing | Long shot, huge payout. Level 30+ only. | On the Odds tab | Open: classic |
| The Wire Room | Bet the dogs on the wire. | — | Coming |
| Lottery | Pick 5 numbers for the next draw. | On the Odds tab | Open: classic |
| The Numbers | Pick your numbers. The draw is at night. | — | Coming |
| Find the Lady | Three cards. Find the queen. Free. | — | Coming |
| Tic-Tac-Toe | Free play with a friend. | No bets | Open: classic |
The odds
A game’s return is the share of every dollar bet that comes back to players over time. Ours are worked out from each game’s own rules and printed on the Odds tab of the Rules. For the new games the figure comes straight from the casino’s certified numbers, so the return you read here is the return the game pays.
Every game keeps a little for the house. A game that returns 95%, for example, keeps about 5 cents of every dollar bet on it over time. Over enough bets the house wins, so play for fun and stop when it isn’t.
Questions people ask
Can I win real money?
No. Everything you win is game cash, and it stays in the game. Buying or selling game cash for real money is against the Rules and gets accounts closed.
Is it fair?
Every result is decided on the game’s server, never in your browser, and the return of every game is published before you bet, so you know what you’re playing against.
Where is it?
In the Red Light District, the neon strip at the bottom left of the city map. Open Explore in the game and click the Casino.
Who can play?
Anyone with an account, and you have to be 18 or older to have one. The Floor opens at level 3.
Limits and breaks
The casino has its own brakes, and you set them:
- A daily loss limit. A new or lower limit works at once. Raising or removing one waits 24 hours.
- A break. Lock yourself out of the casino for 24 hours, 7 days, 30 days or 6 months. A break can be made longer, but nobody can end it early, not even staff.
- Play quietly. Your wins stay off Tonight’s Floor, the casino’s board of big wins.
Dutch also checks in when you’ve been on the floor for an hour straight. If gambling stops being fun in real life, call 1-800-GAMBLER.
More guides
How to play
Your first day in Noob City: the bars, crimes, the gym, jobs, jail and levelling up.
Read the guide →
Gangs and turf
Starting a gang, the shared vault, gang wars and respect, and the turf coming to the map.
Read the guide →
The city map
Noob City's seven districts, what is in each, and how to get around.
Read the guide →See it for yourself
It’s free, it runs in your browser, and you can pull your first crime a few minutes from now.
Sign-ups are open.